Dear Daria,
Our family is going on vacation to visit Grandma this month. It’s a long (5-hour) car trip, and I’m worried that my 8-year-old son will have a boring time. To avoid hearing whining, I’ve packed a “fun suitcase” that includes comics and crayons. Also, along with his dvd player and favorite movies, I’ve included his Nintendo DS with games. I’ve also packed his mp3 player which has a couple of hours of music on it. All of this gear, of course, will be played with headphones so that I don’t have to hear the sounds. Is there anything else that you can think of that I should include?
“Are We There Yet?” in MA
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Dear “Don’t Make Me Turn This Car Around”:
When did having bored kids equal being a bad parent? Why do kids have to be entertained 24/7, and what happens when the cool toys break or we run out of batteries? How will the kid cope then? I can understand being annoyed by whining – we all are. But it’s a part of being a parent, and your job is to deal with it.
Giving kids movies and games all the time not only distances them from you, but it also stunts their ability to use their imagination. Every once in a while, I make it a rule to have a “no electronics” day. Invariably, my kid will wander around for a while, then whine, “I’m bored.” My response? “I don’t care.” Yeah, I’m a bad mom. The first couple of times, my son had a meltdown because I was “so mean.” Then, he couldn’t figure out what to do, so we made a list of fun activities he could try. We put it on the refrigerator, and he would do something on the list. We called it “training his imagination.”
Now, when I say “no electronics” he usually finds something creative to do with his time – drawing, playing Legos, playing a game, making up a story, etc. You can use this technique in the car, too. Make a list of car-friendly fun games: just think back to your childhood, or go online for ideas.
Granted, I’m not saying that kids should never be entertained with electronics. In confined spaces with other people (planes, buses, trains, etc.) it makes sense to keep the kids quiet and busy so that you don’t get the glare of death from other passengers.
For car trips, however, constantly “plugging in” the kids or yourself can be detrimental to the family. I discovered this during one hour-long trip that my family took. Our son was in the back seat playing his Gameboy, I was in front with my laptop, and my husband was driving. I realized that when we got to our destination we hadn’t talked for an hour. On the way back, I banned the Gameboy and the laptop. We played ‘punch buggy,” looked at the scenery, told “knock knock” jokes, and sang along with the Beatles. It was fun for the whole family!
So, next time you’re on a long car trip, try putting boredom first on your list of activities. Your kids could discover that watching cars and scenery is fun, or that they have a blast making up games and singing songs. They might even (gasp!) talk to you! Interacting with your kids can spark both their imaginations and your sense of family.
For some fun trip ideas, try these sites:
http://www.momsminivan.com/
http://familyfun.go.com/family-travel/road-trips/feature/famf48cargames/
http://www.roadtripplanning.com/road-trip-games.html
