Dear Daria,
Our family is going on vacation to visit Grandma this month. It’s a long (5-hour) car trip, and I’m worried that my 8-year-old son will have a boring time. To avoid hearing whining, I’ve packed a “fun suitcase” that includes comics and crayons. Also, along with his dvd player and favorite movies, I’ve included his Nintendo DS with games. I’ve also packed his mp3 player which has a couple of hours of music on it. All of this gear, of course, will be played with headphones so that I don’t have to hear the sounds. Is there anything else that you can think of that I should include?
“Are We There Yet?” in MA
________________________________________
Dear “Don’t Make Me Turn This Car Around”:
When did having bored kids equal being a bad parent? Why do kids have to be entertained 24/7, and what happens when the cool toys break or we run out of batteries? How will the kid cope then? I can understand being annoyed by whining – we all are. But it’s a part of being a parent, and your job is to deal with it.
Giving kids movies and games all the time not only distances them from you, but it also stunts their ability to use their imagination. Every once in a while, I make it a rule to have a “no electronics” day. Invariably, my kid will wander around for a while, then whine, “I’m bored.” My response? “I don’t care.” Yeah, I’m a bad mom. The first couple of times, my son had a meltdown because I was “so mean.” Then, he couldn’t figure out what to do, so we made a list of fun activities he could try. We put it on the refrigerator, and he would do something on the list. We called it “training his imagination.”
Now, when I say “no electronics” he usually finds something creative to do with his time – drawing, playing Legos, playing a game, making up a story, etc. You can use this technique in the car, too. Make a list of car-friendly fun games: just think back to your childhood, or go online for ideas.
Granted, I’m not saying that kids should never be entertained with electronics. In confined spaces with other people (planes, buses, trains, etc.) it makes sense to keep the kids quiet and busy so that you don’t get the glare of death from other passengers.
For car trips, however, constantly “plugging in” the kids or yourself can be detrimental to the family. I discovered this during one hour-long trip that my family took. Our son was in the back seat playing his Gameboy, I was in front with my laptop, and my husband was driving. I realized that when we got to our destination we hadn’t talked for an hour. On the way back, I banned the Gameboy and the laptop. We played ‘punch buggy,” looked at the scenery, told “knock knock” jokes, and sang along with the Beatles. It was fun for the whole family!
So, next time you’re on a long car trip, try putting boredom first on your list of activities. Your kids could discover that watching cars and scenery is fun, or that they have a blast making up games and singing songs. They might even (gasp!) talk to you! Interacting with your kids can spark both their imaginations and your sense of family.
For some fun trip ideas, try these sites:
http://www.momsminivan.com/
http://familyfun.go.com/family-travel/road-trips/feature/famf48cargames/
http://www.roadtripplanning.com/road-trip-games.html
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
Brownie Consequences
Last week, my husband baked a batch of brownies.
My suspicion radar immediately went off. Why? My husband cooks a terrific Sunday breakfast, and knows his way around a barbecue grill. But he doesn't bake, especially chocolate, which he doesn't really like. So, when I came home to the smell of freshly baked brownies, I was confused.
At work, I jokingly speculated about what guilty secret he was making up for. I speculated that either he was seeing another woman, or he had just spent money on a hugely expensive toy for himself.
"Isn't that typical," my coworker said. "Your husband does something nice for you, and you automatically think that he's got something to hide." Yep, I agreed, we all do that.
Well, not necessarily - we might have just been more suspicious than most. Just the day before, my coworker had been watching the "My Spouse Cheated on Me" episode of Dr. Phil. In it, these clueless men and women had been cheated on for years by their spouses, and had no clue whatsoever. The kicker, she said, was when Dr. Phil showed a 2-month cell phone bill with 500 calls to and from this one number, and the wife knew nothing.
500 calls? She wasn't suspicious? What else could he have been doing but returning and making phone calls. "Sorry honey, I HAVE to take this midnight call. It's my broker - some trouble with the account, and he's very diligent about keeping me informed." Right.
Anyway, back to my hubby. The next night, in the car, I "confronted" him with the brownies.
"You don't like chocolate, so you made the brownies for me to cover up something. Either you're seeing another woman, or you want a power tool. Which one is it?"
He stopped the car, turned me with a serious look on his face and said, "Can I have both? A floozy with a power tool?"
After the laughter died down, he admitted that he just had a wierd craving for brownies, and made some. The fact that I loved homemade brownies was just a bonus.
Well, this whole thing has taught me a valuable lesson about my husband. He's a great guy, with some strange (for him) cravings. And now, at least I know what to get him for his birthday. Do you think Home Depot carries a power drill with a floozy attachment?
My suspicion radar immediately went off. Why? My husband cooks a terrific Sunday breakfast, and knows his way around a barbecue grill. But he doesn't bake, especially chocolate, which he doesn't really like. So, when I came home to the smell of freshly baked brownies, I was confused.
At work, I jokingly speculated about what guilty secret he was making up for. I speculated that either he was seeing another woman, or he had just spent money on a hugely expensive toy for himself.
"Isn't that typical," my coworker said. "Your husband does something nice for you, and you automatically think that he's got something to hide." Yep, I agreed, we all do that.
Well, not necessarily - we might have just been more suspicious than most. Just the day before, my coworker had been watching the "My Spouse Cheated on Me" episode of Dr. Phil. In it, these clueless men and women had been cheated on for years by their spouses, and had no clue whatsoever. The kicker, she said, was when Dr. Phil showed a 2-month cell phone bill with 500 calls to and from this one number, and the wife knew nothing.
500 calls? She wasn't suspicious? What else could he have been doing but returning and making phone calls. "Sorry honey, I HAVE to take this midnight call. It's my broker - some trouble with the account, and he's very diligent about keeping me informed." Right.
Anyway, back to my hubby. The next night, in the car, I "confronted" him with the brownies.
"You don't like chocolate, so you made the brownies for me to cover up something. Either you're seeing another woman, or you want a power tool. Which one is it?"
He stopped the car, turned me with a serious look on his face and said, "Can I have both? A floozy with a power tool?"
After the laughter died down, he admitted that he just had a wierd craving for brownies, and made some. The fact that I loved homemade brownies was just a bonus.
Well, this whole thing has taught me a valuable lesson about my husband. He's a great guy, with some strange (for him) cravings. And now, at least I know what to get him for his birthday. Do you think Home Depot carries a power drill with a floozy attachment?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Twisted Study Tips
I've been told that how-to articles are the best way to show off your writing chops. Here is my (admittedly twisted) contribution.
How to Cram for a Final
They say that studying is a process that you need to learn in order to succeed in school – college or beyond. Well, if studying is an art, cramming for a test must be the ultimate preparation for a life of continuing education. Based on my years of experience as an undergraduate (and graduate) student, I have been able to come up with some tried and true methods for condensing days, weeks, or even months of studying into one night.
The process usually begins around six in the evening, when you realize that the time you allocated for studying ended up being used for socializing. You need to cram because:
a. You haven’t read over your notes or cracked the spine on your book
b. You didn’t take notes or buy the book, or
c. You forgot you had a class until now
This is when you realize that you’d better buckle down and get to work.
First, the atmosphere must be right. Don’t go to a quiet spot where you can think in relative peace. You must stay in your dorm or living room. That way, you can get interrupted by the phone, the doorbell, or even the other people who live with you. Some people prefer that the radio or TV be turned on, to provide background noise. I recommend that they both be on at the same time. This way, not only can your brain try to process two avenues of sound at once, but your eyes can be caught by the TV at any time.
Secondly, since you will be expending a lot of energy studying, you need to fortify yourself with some snacks and beverages. Not just any kind of food will do. You must include sugar, caffeine, fat and sodium with every serving. Some suggestions would be: chips, candy bars, Jolt cola (or Red Bull) and pizza. Save the healthy food for the next morning, when your body will crave the taste of something green.
It’s now around 9 pm. You’re contentedly munching, when you suddenly notice that your room (or apartment) is a pigsty. You didn’t realize it before, but now that it’s been brought to your attention, you must clean it up right away! And not just a superficial cleaning will do, but the walls need to be washed by hand, the tile in the bathroom has to be scrubbed with a toothbrush, and the windows need to be rubbed with Windex and newspaper.
After a few hours, the place is looking pretty good. It’s now getting close to midnight, and your next step is to find your class notes. Studying hieroglyphics for an hour forces you to the conclusion that you will never make it in the field of calligraphy. You could become a cartoonist, though, because most of the notes have pretty pictures and caricatures surrounding them. You decide that you will never waste your time taking notes again.
You get a brilliant idea for your next study technique – why not collaborate with some fellow classmates? The first one you call is too boring – he’s already studied and is in bed sleeping. The next person you call is in the same boat you are. You mumble to each other about how unfair the professor is, and why everyone seems to be asleep at 2:00 in the morning. Then, your classmate mentions “Desperate Housewives” and you spend an hour dissecting every show and star you can think of. When you hang up, you realize that you know nothing new about the class, but you’ve caught up on your quota of celebrity gossip.
Reluctantly, you turn back to your books. It’s now 3:00 am, and you brain is starting to rebel, not to mention your stomach. Reading each sentence seems like a long and tedious process, so, being smart, you only read the headings and the first and last paragraphs of each chapter. Of course, this leaves you with a distorted view of whatever your course is about, but you don’t have time to be picky. After the first three chapters, you give up. That step was too difficult.
It’s now 4:00 am and you only have two hours to sleep. You debate on whether to stay up and go to breakfast, or whether to go to bed and take the chance that you won’t wake up when the alarm goes off. You finally decide to go to bed, setting two alarm clocks, and making your apartment mates swear to wake you up in time.
At last the time for the test is near. You oversleep, grab a cold piece of pizza for breakfast, and speed to class. You arrive breathless, tired, and without a pen or pencil to take the test.
Now, I’m not saying that this method will work for everyone, but if you procrastinate and thrive on pressure, this is the cramming method for you. Many students have used this method (sometimes even successfully) to take exams. It may work for you, too!
The process usually begins around six in the evening, when you realize that the time you allocated for studying ended up being used for socializing. You need to cram because:
a. You haven’t read over your notes or cracked the spine on your book
b. You didn’t take notes or buy the book, or
c. You forgot you had a class until now
This is when you realize that you’d better buckle down and get to work.
First, the atmosphere must be right. Don’t go to a quiet spot where you can think in relative peace. You must stay in your dorm or living room. That way, you can get interrupted by the phone, the doorbell, or even the other people who live with you. Some people prefer that the radio or TV be turned on, to provide background noise. I recommend that they both be on at the same time. This way, not only can your brain try to process two avenues of sound at once, but your eyes can be caught by the TV at any time.
Secondly, since you will be expending a lot of energy studying, you need to fortify yourself with some snacks and beverages. Not just any kind of food will do. You must include sugar, caffeine, fat and sodium with every serving. Some suggestions would be: chips, candy bars, Jolt cola (or Red Bull) and pizza. Save the healthy food for the next morning, when your body will crave the taste of something green.
It’s now around 9 pm. You’re contentedly munching, when you suddenly notice that your room (or apartment) is a pigsty. You didn’t realize it before, but now that it’s been brought to your attention, you must clean it up right away! And not just a superficial cleaning will do, but the walls need to be washed by hand, the tile in the bathroom has to be scrubbed with a toothbrush, and the windows need to be rubbed with Windex and newspaper.
After a few hours, the place is looking pretty good. It’s now getting close to midnight, and your next step is to find your class notes. Studying hieroglyphics for an hour forces you to the conclusion that you will never make it in the field of calligraphy. You could become a cartoonist, though, because most of the notes have pretty pictures and caricatures surrounding them. You decide that you will never waste your time taking notes again.
You get a brilliant idea for your next study technique – why not collaborate with some fellow classmates? The first one you call is too boring – he’s already studied and is in bed sleeping. The next person you call is in the same boat you are. You mumble to each other about how unfair the professor is, and why everyone seems to be asleep at 2:00 in the morning. Then, your classmate mentions “Desperate Housewives” and you spend an hour dissecting every show and star you can think of. When you hang up, you realize that you know nothing new about the class, but you’ve caught up on your quota of celebrity gossip.
Reluctantly, you turn back to your books. It’s now 3:00 am, and you brain is starting to rebel, not to mention your stomach. Reading each sentence seems like a long and tedious process, so, being smart, you only read the headings and the first and last paragraphs of each chapter. Of course, this leaves you with a distorted view of whatever your course is about, but you don’t have time to be picky. After the first three chapters, you give up. That step was too difficult.
It’s now 4:00 am and you only have two hours to sleep. You debate on whether to stay up and go to breakfast, or whether to go to bed and take the chance that you won’t wake up when the alarm goes off. You finally decide to go to bed, setting two alarm clocks, and making your apartment mates swear to wake you up in time.
At last the time for the test is near. You oversleep, grab a cold piece of pizza for breakfast, and speed to class. You arrive breathless, tired, and without a pen or pencil to take the test.
Now, I’m not saying that this method will work for everyone, but if you procrastinate and thrive on pressure, this is the cramming method for you. Many students have used this method (sometimes even successfully) to take exams. It may work for you, too!
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